Friday, September 23, 2005

Goodbye Waddles, hello Hooters?!?!

Where have I been? NoPo is getting another titty bar—oh my god THAT is a surprise!—and I didn’t know about it? Evidently. People! I’m sorry I have failed to blog of this monumental nightmare. Okay okay, stop it now, you may say Hooters is not a titty bar, I’ll say it’s a mega-chain nightmare. Better? Good. And the creme de la crème? I just read via here that it’s going in one of my favorite historic buildings: Waddles.

Okay. There are two things here.
1. Waddles.
2. Hooters.

First, let’s talk Waddles…

The fantabulous architecture of Waddles and the infamous Eat Now sign along I-5 at Jantzen Beach have been an icon for those motoring along I-5 for years. Designed by architect Pietro Bellushi in 1945, it’s one of the very last things you see as you go over the bridge and into Washington state. Check out the beauty of the signage, the camp of the design, and the classic style here. Waddle’s closed a few years back, and was rumored to have been the location for a Krispy Kreme. No more.

Second, let’s talk Hooters…

I once heard an NPR story about Hooters, and the Hooters brand. The spokesman said their brand is “quality”. In fact, he said something along the lines that while the girls may first get ‘em in, it’s the quality of the food that brings ‘em back. He then proceeded to wax eloquently of the Hooters brand equating good, family values. It’s the kind of place you can bring your kids and have a good meal. Yes, he really said that.

All the while being served by women wearing nylons with shorts, white socks and tennis shoes. Notice I’m not saying anything about the tiny tops. Nope. It’s the fashion faux paux of frickin’ pantyhose. As they say in their handbook, “Pantyhose are a required part of the uniform and are to be worn any time the Hooters Girl uniform is worn.” They better be careful of phenomena like this (man’s static electricity causes fire)

I digress. Back to that Hooters brand. Good ol’ boy titty bar masquerading as family restaurant, will soon call a historic legend of North Portland home. Good bye Waddles, hello Hooters.

Me? I’d much rather go to the Dancin’ Bare . They have amateur night. And it’s just up the street. And they don’t try to masquerade as something they’re not.

P.S. Please don’t try to defend Hooters. Come on: employees have to sign the following statement:
"I hereby acknowledge...the work environment is one in which joking and innuendo based on female sex appeal is commonplace."


Stacy said...

Oh no! That's terrible! I love Waddles. I can't believe this.

Zoe said...

OMG I want to barf!

I've been to Waddles only once- a weekend staying in Jantzen beach...

I will never go to Hooters- I hear that they have good food- but I still won't patronize them (no pun intended)

Gravely Gay said...

I wont defend, but they do have some pretty good burgers. I went once and when them chicks found out it was my first time there, and I was gay, whoa nelly! lets just say that the straight boys at the next table were jealous.

Anonymous said...

What's next? Holman's being turned into an Olive Garden or Old Counrty Buffet?

Rozanne said...

Horrible, horrible.

And I thought it was bad when I heard the rumor that my beloved Waddles might go Krispy Kreme.

Hooters is so retrograde and evil. It embodies so many things that piss me off.

Pantyhose and shorts. Ugh. Pantyhose and anything. Ugh.

Anonymous said...

It's not so much that it's retrograde and evil Rozanne.
The real tragedy here is that nasty logo (read JV Kinko's guy) and the sorry color scheme.

geeekgirl said...

The thing that pisses me off about hooters is the boob discrimination.

All of the girls with small boobs work as a hostess wearing a polo shirt, while the girls with big breast wait tables.

Is that legal?

The Dancin' Bare is way better. They have some really talented pole dancers!

Anonymous said...

This is too funny. I’m filling in a lost weekend in my Portland NaNoWriMo novel, which has my poor ad guy character visiting the Freightliner plant way up in Northeast, so I thought as a saving grace I’d let him have breakfast at Waddles. I couldn’t remember when it closed so I did a search and your blog came up. Elizabeth will be happy to know that even though he lives in The Edge overlooking lovely I-405, he gets to have at least one-breakfast at Waddles.

Kaci said...

This all sounds ridiculously pompous and self-righteous. But you're entitled to sound that way, of course. Love it.

One of your country's healthcare professionals... was once a Hooters Girl.

LeLo said...

Oh Kaci honey. Read the post again (you did just spend a long time on my blog today I see): it's not about the girls. It's about the system itself and how it masquerades as something it's not. If that's self righteous and pompous, I proudly own it.

And more power to the woman who used to be a Hooters Girl. I wonder how many men of power had to degrade themselves like that on their way up?