Friday, December 28, 2007

Did you hear that sound?

That’s the sound of me being kicked in the stomach again. Yeah, it hurts. It’s the same pain I felt after Measure 36, when the state ruled my marriage was invalid.

There it is again. That sound.
When we received the refund check from the county for our marriage license.

That sound? I hear it every day. Every week. All the time. It’s the sound of inequalities of gay and lesbian couples in Oregon who are denied the benefits of marriage that our friends, family and other members of the Oregon community enjoy.

Enjoy? They’re actually benefits that really matter mainly in times of life or death. The stories I’ve heard..of the partner of a war veteran denied being handed the flag at his partner’s funeral. Of an emergency room scenario where a partner is denied access to be at the bedside of their loved one. Of a partner whose name was crossed through on their child's birth certificate because she was not “wed” to the birth mother. The list goes on and on of the stories I’ve heard. They're horrible, and tragic, and they hurt.

And today? There’s the sound again.

Just days before AdRi and I planned on going to the county courthouse and registering as domestic partners, a judge has delayed the laws. Thanks to the outside influence of an Arizona based organization fighting the laws here in Oregon, AdRi and I will just cool our heels. Again. And wait. Despite that we’ve been together over ten years. Despite that we celebrated our marriage with friends and family 3 years ago. Despite.....the list could go on forever, really.

Sigh. Yes, we’ll wait. We’ll wait to stand in line to get a partial list of benefits that the majority of people in this country benefit from, when this makes it through the courts.

It’s just another kick in the stomach. Again.
Join with us and a community that supports you, at a candlelight vigil, Wednesday, January 2nd, at Q Center with Basic Rights Oregon. 5:30-7pm.
69 SE Taylor (at Water Avenue)


Kathryn said...

I can't tell you how heartbroken I am, I only imagine how you must feel. You and AdRi have been denied your rights for longer and have endured more disappointments than HG and I have yet. I hope none of us have to wait much longer.

Anonymous said...

ugh. that's just awful. there was a time here when they might have revoked our marriage rights and it was heartbreaking. I can only imagine how you must feel.

Neva said...

I'm so sorry. Hang in there. One day you will have your victory and it will be more than sweet!

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry. My thoughts are with you.

Anonymous said...

It makes me sick.

rae ann said...

i'm so sorry. it shouldn't be this way. it's a horrible injustice that requires immediate change. my condolences and hopes are with you both.

Anonymous said...

Granting gay and lesbian couples full legal, medical, familial rights is a HUMAN RIGHTS issue. The conservative Christian right (including New Hope Christian Church...) has waged such a massive campaign against human rights. What would Jesus do? Indeed!

One day we will see justice prevail and human rights afforded to all our citizens. Hopefully, sooner rather than later.

We'll see you at the rally on the second.

Elizabeth said...

I'm so sorry. One of these days this whole thing will seem so primitive, so obvious to everyone. It is getting better though, isn't it? I can't imagine what it's like to be where you are.

Are straight gals welcome to attend the rally?

witchtrivets said...

Sign me up for vigiling. I think it will be far more helpful than biting -- which is my current impulse. That and using the F-word in every single sentence. It is so versatile a word. And I will try and drag mwt out of the house as well. She is taking this far better.

LeLo said...

I can't say thanks enough about the heartfelt comments here: thank you to each and everyone of you who stopped for a moment and wrote something.

Also, I'd invite everyone to read the post Jess wrote this morning on her blog: I was so moved by her words. Thank you Jess!

Finally, the vigil on Wednesday is open to everyone, gay, straight, and everything in between. These inequities are really something for all Oregonians to be outraged about.

Rozanne said...

It's wrong. Plain and simple. I just don't understand why anyone should feel it so necessary to oppose and stridently block such basic rights.

small town dyke said...

I feel for you, I wish we could fky out for the vigil, you will be in our thoughts. Hang in there it's going to happen, i know it in my heart.

Unknown said...

I'm feeling uncharacteristically inarticulate, so I'm just going to say what's in my heart-- that sucks!

Anonymous said...

if I had it my way, i'd change those stupid One Man/One Woman bumperstickers to say:

One Woman/One Woman
One Man/One Man
One Woman/One Man
One Love/One Heart/let's get together and feel alright

Things will change soon, i know it.

fairydogmother said...

This is the kind of news that makes me feel heartsick.

If only those who seek to deny basic human rights to others had to give up their own rights in order to do so. Especially those who go out of their way to interfere with the laws of a state in which they do not even live.

Last time I checked I didn't get a say in any of the 49 states in which I am not a resident, and my one vote in my own state doesn't count any more than anybody else's. Talk about special rights!

Anna said...

It's unbelievable and makes me so angry. I'm sorry LeAnn. Our local, state and federal govn't spends so much time and energy fussing over who we love. No wonder there's no affordable health care and a fucking endless war. I hope you know that you and your writing are an inspiration. xoxo

Anonymous said...

I didn't mean to leave that anon. -- I can just never figure out blogger.

Everyone deserves the same treatment and rights -- that should be a given.

A Lewis said...

Can't we just go BACK to the day before...when all was well....and you were baking bread? It felt, and smelled, better then.

SassyFemme said...

This sucks. It's horrible, and I'm so sorry you have to go through it.

Monogram Queen said...

Oh Lelo i am so sorry for this. RSG's post about broke my heart also. Keep on keeping on is all you can do. It's not right. It's just not right.