The gift all gardeners eventually receive

Alternative blog post title: The sing-song ditty that's going to be stuck in your head the rest of the day

I've always been intrigued by them. In an odd, weird way. Haven't you? How does the Chia Pet magic work? Don't fret. I'll debunk the Chia Pet myths here and post their progress. By the way, it's somewhat complicated. But I'm determined to only lead to success in my new Chia Pet endeavors. Here we go.

First, soak your Chia planter.


Let it soak overnight. Don't worry, it won't drown. The Chia Pet's porous surface is soaking up that moisture for the seeds you'll soon implant in its grooves. Next, soak your seeds.


While they're soaking, gaze at the sweet, soft plushy that came in your Chia box and remind yourself it's not a dog toy. It's your toy. Tell that to the dog.


After everything has soaked, put your Chia planter in the plastic tray you left in the box, and fill the hole on its top all the way up with water. Get used to that little chore because you're going to have to do it every day for god knows how long.


Next, rub the squishy soaked jelly like seed mixture all over the planter. "It rubs itself with the lotion." No no no. Don't say that. Get the seeds into the grooves. Don't gross out.


I said rub it everywhere. Get to really know your Chia planter.


Now wait. And fill it with water every day, mist it with water too, if you like. Set it in a sunny place, and hope it doesn't rot and start to smell.

I'll let you know how it goes, okay?