But my kids deserve their double bacon cheeseburger, and she won't give it to me!

Don't get the customer service you think you deserve? Call 911!

Click here to download audio file

thanks to Nicho, my favorite Kiwi in Sydney

You want some creme for your crack?

What crackpot came up with the title Crack Creme? Sigh. Either way before crack became the epidemic it is, or a completely alienated ad agency. Anyway, this little gem is available in Walgreen's in Chicago. Get 'em before they're only available behind glass and by showing your ID.

How to Kill a Chicken and Other Tales from the 4-H exhibits at the Texas Rodeo

The Texas Rodeo in Houston was just a few weeks back. Cowboy hats, mullets, turquoise-colored boots, wranglers: it's a whole culture that I just don't know. But god bless 'em: lots of people do, and more power to 'em. My brother attended the ro-de-oh, and sent this photo in. Look closely. That there's live chickens in the front, and the backdrop highlights each step of the live chicken to cold storage process: the welcome (that guy looks like the welcomer at WalMart), the sedation (does this mean they gas 'em here?), the picker (plucking?), evisceration (my favorite: look at the lucky guy who works at this station), the ice bath, packaging and finally, cold storage.

Evidently, this wonderful display was adjacent to the children's petting zoo. Nice.

Something I did NOT do on Easter Sunday***or***the Freakshow outside Terri Schiavo's Hospital

People. Please. They've asked you to go home. And what are you doing? You're
crying, you're praying, you're rolling on the ground and speaking in
tongues. You're laying roses. Lighting candles. Crying crying crying.
You're taunting the cops.
You're calling others sinners. And shouting they're going to hell.
You're demonizing her husband.
You're screaming.
And crying crying crying.
Where were you when that meth baby was neglected?
When that single mom had nowhere to turn?
When the prisoner was put to death for a crime he didn't commit?
Where were you then?
Please. Go home and let her be, let us all be.
Amen.

Blessings from our leader: direct link to god

I know I feel a kajillion times better now that I've been blessed by George W. Bush with his God/Christ/His/Resurrection/Holy Season extravaganza of a press release. Why is it that I'm full of cringe reading this huge mish-mash of church+state+church document?

Be blessed yourself and read the righteous goodness H E R E .

Another good one from the Ja'amlo hotline.

Speaking of Ja'amlo hotline, if you're in need of some cleansing after reading the Christ/Resurrection/God/Holy Season extravaganza, baptise yourself in this hot pink bug of loveliness: I so want T H I S C A R .

Duking it out in The Pearl: Gallery owners fighting in the streets!?

How much do I love the image of two Pearl gallery owners bitchslapping each other in a showdown on the sidewalk during First Thursday?

Oh, I wish I had been there to see that. Not knowing if there was any actual bitchslapping going on, nor if it occurred on First Thursday, I do know that a stalking protective order has been issued against Junki Yoshida of Yoshida's Art Gallery by Gary Lawrence of The Lawrence Gallery. Read more about it in Phil Stanford's column at The Tribune...

Juicy.

Dirty little secret

I love this website about awful plastic surgery. It's so bad but it hurts so good. And then my friend CaFle introduced me to this horrificly wonderful bad so bad gossip website and I don't know which one I like, I mean hate, more. Ah, there's enough love to go around to all....

The day the carnies came to town

There's an old-school Eagles Lodge on North Lombard in North Portland. It looks like it might have been a grocery store or a library or something else a long time ago. It has a big parking lot, and it's pretty worn down, no trees, and in the summertime, the asphalt bakes and the cracks grow weeds.In late June, the parking lot usually has a fireworks stand, with a great selection of Climbing Pandas, Spinning Pagodas, and tank-inspired pyrotechnics. It's the kind of place that gentrification slowly gobbles up. Maybe someday it will be a Trader Joe's, and we'll talk about when it was the Eagles Lodge. The signs at the Eagles Lodge were painted by hand or stencil, advertising Bingo, and Saturday night dinner and dancing, with T-Up at 6:00pm. I have this image in my head of yellow fluroescent lighting and 50 years of smoke inside that building.

But two weeks ago something strange was afoot. In the parking lot, it seemed like over night, an entire carnival midway popped up, complete with a Zipper, spinning rides, games, and a trailer selling corndogs and cotton candy. The theme? Mardi Gras. I have no idea how they fit all of these rides and attractions into the parking lot, but they did. I couldn't believe all of this excitement was only several blocks away. We could hear the squeals of kids on the rides from our yard, and even had a boy stop us in the garden to ask us if we needed any help--he wanted to go on the rides and hoped to make some quick money. Aaah, the magnetism of the carnival. We couldn't resist.

The Eagles Lodge parking lot was now an entertainment venue for young couples and families. Parents with their children, climbing the 100 stairs to fly down the slides, teenage couples dressed up and just hanging out. The lights of the Dragon Wagon, Sizzler and Zipper illuminated that old crappy parking lot, making it seem magical and awfully exciting if you're 10 years old. AdRi played a game, and won me a stuffed animal. Actually, it was a mushroom with a frog on top. The worker--who was really nice though tooth challenged--said as he handed it to me, "You can kiss this frog and lick this mushroom all day long but it ain't gonna produce a prince". The perfect end to a romantic evening at the midway.

(photos from the carnival can be seen by clicking over there on my FlickR photos)

Get your jesus on.

One of my favorite signs on North Lombard. It really says it all.

What do you love?

Here's what a neighbor of mine loves.

Happy Anniversary to the 3,021 other couples who are also celebrating their wedding anniversaries this week.

...one year ago today, we recited our vows in a local church, signed our marriage certificate, and celebrated with close friends and family who made it to our wedding with less than 24 hours notice. Thank you to everyone who has celebrated with us and supported us this past year. And congratulations to the 3,021 other couples who were also wed during these few days in Multnomah County, Oregon, when fairness and truth were upheld, recognizing our relationships. Have faith...

One year ago yesterday...

...we stood in line at the Multnomah County Offices to get our marriage license. Wow! What an amazing time, and what an amazing place to be. I can't believe it was a year ago. So much has happened since then...

Planting today in El Jardin

So AdRi planted in her raised beds today: first of the season. Seems so
early, but alas, that's the way it goes. Fortunately, we were prepared.

Here's what went into the ground today. See us in 45-70 days for harvest.

Before & After: The Wall of Roses

So, we did a lot this weekend. But unfortunately, I didn't document it all. But I did document this. The wall of roses.

When we planted these three roses 6 years ago or so, they were so small and tiny, we were worried the wind would blow them over.

Ha! That's a good one!

Today, they are Paul's Himalayan Musk on the far left, Autumn Sunset in the middle, and Lavender Lassie on the right.

They're all from the fantabulous Heirloom Roses in St. Paul: a must-see place to visit. But a forewarning: it's like going to the Humane Society. You just can't go and look. You have to take something home with you. But we've been so happy with these three roses.

But that Paul's Himalayan Musk. My god. Believe the catalog description. It's a tree climber. So today, we cut it back where it was overgrowing the other two. Hopefully, we'll have better blooms throughout the season from Autumn Sunset (the most perfect rose), and Lavender Lassie (so sweet!). We can't say Paul's name without lowering our voice a few octaves. He's amazing, yet a hardy grower.

Air Freshener Forest

Air Freshener Forest
Originally uploaded by jellybeanbonanza.

We got in the taxi, and it smelled so fresh! When we turned our heads, there was the source. 20 or so green tree air fresheners, all secured to the back seat window area. 20! It was an entire air freshener forest.

Indulgence and decadence at Topolobampo

DSC02033
Originally uploaded by jellybeanbonanza.

So I’m such a fan of Rick Bayless, the chef. WAY BEFORE he ever showed up on The American Iron Chef – though don’t get me wrong: I watched that! We’ve been cooking from his cookbooks like this and thisfor years. After exploring his books, that’s when I found out he had a show on PBS – I still don’t think I’ve ever seen it. But I knew he had restaurants here in Chicago, and since I travel here periodically, get to go to Frontera. But tonight, we went to Topolombompo, the upscale sister restaurant at the same location. As my friend said, “it’s like sitting in the special back part of the restaurant where you get to try all of the chef’s secrets.”

What’s really fantastic is that we did the Chefs Tasting Dinner, with slected wines to match each course on the tasting menu. Sommelier Jill Gubesch had done an amazing job, pairing the meal, and stopped by our table to talk about the wines. I feel like I’m on some weird wine expedition because I watched Sideways on the plane ride here…but that’s another story…My favorite wine was paired with Tamales de Amarillo, and it was a 2002 Rudi Pichler “Terrassen” Gruner Veitliner Smaragd from Wachau, Austria. Jill has some great tips on pairing wine with Mexican food here.

Last summer I had heard a great story on Splendid Table that was about Rick and the burgeoning wine country in a valley in Mexico, not far from Ensenada. In the area known as the Valley of Guadalupe they are producing some amazing wines. You can read more about the Fiesta de la Vendimia here.

It’s like my birthday celebration just keeps goin’ on! Too nice.

This is not a picture from Chicago...

NoRi
Originally uploaded by jellybeanbonanza.

...it's in the 20's and snowing here in Chicago, but here's a photo to warm us all up. NoRi on her new best friend in Jordan! Check out the long sleeved black turtleneck in the sunshine. Go NoRi! Go NoRi! Go NoRi! I'll post some photos later of Chicago...not enough snow to get excited about, but enough to make for a few delays at O'Hare.