Friday, April 27, 2007

The day I almost won $20,000 and how the suburbs gave my dog the runs

She looks so innocent
Yesterday was a weird day. You may think all of my comments about the suburbs mean I hate them. I don't. I grew up in a sort of suburb. But I live in Portland now, and there's just an obvious difference. For example...yesterday I went to visit with RSG and give a little help to a switcher (a PC to Mac transition is going on in that household). We had a lovely lunch at a lovely grill place, but at one point I about fell out of my chair and my jaw hit the table. At the table next to us, when their food arrived they held hands, lowered their heads, closed their eyes, and did a long long prayer, out loud. It wasn't just a "God is great" prayer. Wow.

Earlier that morning we had rushed off to the store to see if the scratch-it ticket I held truly was a winner for $20,000. We read the directions 20 times and from what we could tell, it was a $20,000 winner. On the back it said we'd have to claim our winnings (since they were that high) at the Salem headquarters and RSG figured it was a 45-minute drive. Oh, we'd drive there if need be, but let's do a little checky check first to just make sure it's really a winner. I think by now we all know what the outcome of that was. Let's just say the instructions on that scratch-it weren't quite clear.

So upon returning to RSGs and the pack of dogs we had left alone for 15 minutes, we discovered that the lovely basket of muffins on the table was empty but for two, and crumbs were all over the table. "Did you eat the muffins?" RSG asked me. "Uh, no." Oh. My. God. The dogs must have jumped onto the table and scarfed the muffins while we were gone. I took Wink out to visit the backyard and guess who had the shits? And guess who had the shits all day yesterday? And guess who had the shits on the white carpet upstairs last night? That would be Wink. I think we know who has the world's worst guest manners and who jumps on tables and eats food. So embarressing.

13 comments:

patti_cake said...

OMG I can't believe you missed out on 20 G's! BUMMER

How in the world did she jump up and get the muffins? Never mind, I know from experience small dogs CAN jump. Poor white carpet!

Trop said...

Here in East Jesus, joining hands and saying a long, loud grace in restaurants is standard fare. The odd-balls are people like Court an me, who don't offer grace (although we often hold hands).

Maggie said...

Sorry about the loss of the $20K.

What a Muffin Monster! LOL

soozieq said...

Man that's like the cheese stuff that Amber (I think that was the weinie dog's name), Wink and Ginger ate the time I was there....those dogs! You just can't have food out around them ;-)

Sorry about your carpet and the $20K. That bites!

witchtrivets said...

obviously the suburbs are cursed. That's all there is to it. If you had been in the city, you would have won that 20K for sure. Thing how much carpet cleaner 20K could buy...

Richard said...

LeLo,
Here in Spanish-Catholic New Mexico, prayer is also standard fare before a meal, and, believe it or not, I'm getting into it. I like taking a moment (of any kind) and expressing gratitude.
ps - Mid-June I'm leaving the Opera and moving to Tome where Del is from. Pray for me! Miss you. :-)

Syd said...

When I first started reading RSG, I mistakenly thought that Ginger was her GF, instead of her dog. Until she mentioned that Ginger pissed on the floor. (duh)

I was just thinking how funny this story would be if I had Wink mistaken for...yeah, maybe not.

SassyFemme said...

The praying wouldn't have surprised me at all in TX, it was actually rather common place. However, out in your part of the country, I had no idea it was like that.

Poor Wink from the muffins! Poor you for having to clean it!

purpletwinkie said...

What is it with this dog and POOP?

I've been at restaurants on The Strip and had people pray at the table nearby... and they weren't prayin' for Triple 7's or Mama's new shoes...

Neva said...

I'm laughing so hard at this post right now. Especially at Wink's squirties.

Dr. Sparky said...

DAMN IT!

And I thought I was finally going to get that money you owe me back.

little sister said...

I think Wink had the shits from telepathically learning about the people praying...had nuthin' to do with muffins ;)

that whole post is hilarious!

Blogzie said...

Poor Wink.

I know just how she feels.

It happens to the best of us.

XX