Thursday, July 13, 2006

Ultimate Punishment

I don't have kids. But if I did, and they were misbehaving, I'd threaten them with sending them off to this camp. Instead of "don't make me pull this car over right now!", I'd shout "You're going to go speak in tongues and be forced to praise hajeebus for 16 hrs straight if YOU don't straighten up right now!" I mean, really, come on. WTF. Isn't this considered child abuse in the name of god? Wrong, people. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. I'm all for vacation bible school (you know I can sing This Little Light of Mine) but Waves of Glory camp? Uh, no.


Recovering Straight Girl said...

Hmmm, maybe Halsey would benefit from this camp. Do they take alien children?

patti_cake said...

My SIL gave my daughter a denim jumper with an angel embroidered on it that says "this little light of mine,i'm gonna let it shine". Uh No.
That camp is child abuse. WTF? Creepy xtians creep me OUT.

Carrie said...

'One little girl went down under the power of God and was pinned to the floor by the Holy Spirit and could not get up for over an hour.'

WTF? Did you read the bit about raising the baby from the dead. People like this scare the crap out of me. I'm actually going to post this on my site as well.

Lori said...

Uh, yeah.

little sister said...

Excuse my while I praise Jesus that place didn't exist when I was a parents would have made me go.

I'm with Carrie - those people scare the crap out of me!

Maggie said...

'Kids on Fire Summer School'? WTH?!?! No, no, no, no!!!

My kids would show up with lighters in hand....and then proceed to renact 'Ghostbusters' for the whole (afronted) camp.

"McKenzie, if someone asks you if you're a God, you say YES!"

Zoe said...

OH MY GAWD! That scares the crap out of me. Those are future of our countrey?

blog Portland said...

My children wear a clice and repent when they've been good; it's only natural that they devote every waking moment to the Lord.
Yeah, bullshit, I know.

Jon-Marc said...

That is so funny you posted about this because yesterday I was reading about a camp for boys 13-18 that teaches them about "manliness" They dress up like knights and play games like "hide the bacon".

The byline of the camp was "Call to Chilvalry Camp Instills Manliness and Courage in Boys"

The link is

It's a riot!

Hope you are well!


Gretchen said...

I find the Pee wee Prophet section to be the most disturbing. I think they make serveral medications that can work wonders. My father is a minister and he's been known to say, "it's when you feel like God is audibly talking to you that you need to worry." (as in seek a mental health professional)

CrackerLilo said...

I'm just thinking how my brother would have made the term "Kids on Fire" literal.

Creepy, creepy, CREEPY!!! And what hope do these poor kids have of growing up sane, functional, and realistic?!

JAmLo said...

what is happening to the chick in the far upper right, and wtf is on that kids face.... chicken blood? said...

I went to a summer camp just like this for 8 years in a row. the camped sucked but it wasn't because of the praying in tongues or anything... i just remember it got the point where i pretended to fall out because i wanted to be like everyone else

bemused said...

Don't drink the Kool-aid.

Kami said...

Dude. I just watched this. It fucking scared the shit out of me. For real.