Thursday, October 26, 2006

A conundrum and possible mea culpa

Had a wonderful dinner at Nostrano last night with some very good friends. Another couple who we don't see as much as we'd like, but who we really adore. We could talk forever, I'm sure, and we talk of movies and art and theater and gardening and gossip and everything in between. Sigh. Good times.

Afterwards we headed home in our separate cars and as I merged onto I-5 North, threw myself into a little temper tantrum at the idiot in front of me not merging and increasing speed but hesitating and coming to a complete stop. Aaaargh. This is a tricky merge, for sure. Two incoming ramps from Morrison dump pretty directly right onto I-5 in a narrow 2-lane section in the middle of the city. I know it well because I drive it every day, and I know the amount of accidents that occur here. Many of them due to drivers who get cold feet and instead of quickly merging freak out and come to a complete stop. The hauling ass mergers behind them come around the ramp and BAM, rear end them.

So here we were, stopped behind this car and I'm watching the carlights come up behind me and quickly turn into the freeway not to rear end me. And what am I doing? I'm honking like crazy and ranting like a mad woman to get your ass going and get on the freeway. It's not a little friendly honk. It's a laying on the horn multiple times honking.

Finally we all get our asses onto the freeway and as I haul past the car, I realize it's our friends. 10 and 2 she's looking straight ahead probably pissed as hell at the crazy person behind them honking their asses off while they were worried about how to merge with trucks zooming by etc. As I zoom by them, it's pretty inevitable they recognize our car. I'm mortified. I love these people. I was a total bitch.

So blog readers, what do I do? Call said friend and apologize profusely? Pretend it didn't happen? Send flowers and a card? Advice please.


rodger said...

I'd say you have to apologize but explain that you use that ramp every day so you know it better than most and just expect folks to know how to drive it.

I, of course would just pretend it didn't happen. Kidding!

purpletwinkie said...

I would call your friends. If need be, explain you were concerned someone was going to hit you from behind, etc. Use some humor to play down the "bitch behind the wheel" scenario :). Don't make more of this than it is.

You're welcome. That will be $120. Paypal?

Anonymous said...

Oh my, now you know why you were named after your father!
Hugs, Mom

Wendy and Karen said...

Hmmmm... Now here's an interesting situation!

Question: If you had known beforehand when you were behind them it was your friends, would you have gotten upset and honked? Since it now appears that you're mortified and feel bad about the whole thing, is it that you feel bad about your behavior in general or that you directed your behavior towards your friends? If it hadn't been your friends, would you have simply blown on by thinking badly of the offenders and not given this a second thought feeling justified in your own behavior?

I know I'm not answering your question here but I've wondered about myself when I do exactly what you did and why I get so freakin' mad. When I can't put a face to the a**hole I'm directing my anger at, it's easy to be mad and feel justified in my anger. But, the minute I put a face on where my anger is directed, my anger cools or doesn't even surface at all.

In some ways this is analogous to how gays are treated. If people know you before they know you're gay, they don't see it as any big deal. But, if they are just reacting to nameless, faceless gay people, it's easier to be angry, hateful, etc.

I think you've just put a face on anger and when the face belonged to your friends, it changed your perspective. I think I'd share this with your friends... ponder on it... laugh about it... and really see what there is for you to take away from the whole thing.

Sorry for such a long comment, but this post really got me to thinking. Thanks for sharing!

- Karen

Zoe said...

Are you sure they would know that you were honking because they were idiot drivers and not because you saw their car and decided to honk at them as you were driving by?

Rozanne said...

Excellent point by Karen.

Here's what I would do. Call (or chicken me, I might e-mail) and apologize profusely and explaining that your anger came mostly out of concern for safety (it did, right?) and then apologize again over and over and over until they're sick to death of you and you all end up laughing.

ToadyJoe said...

I'd call and laugh and turn it into a whole "Haha, I really fooled ya didn't I? You thought I really WAS mad, didn't you? Pushed your buttons, haha, I'm such an ass sometimes, aren't I? Haha" thing. Because it would make it less awkward and humiliating if I made it into a joke rather than got all morose about being a jerk on purpose. No sense making ALL of us feel bad.

And then I'd try to do some introspection and figure out a more productive and healthy way to deal with idiots (known or otherwise) in the future. Like... audiobooks! Audiobooks are the BOMB for chillin' out during commutes, I tell ya. :)

Syd said...

Well, I'm going against the consensus here. Just leave it alone. They were idiots, you reacted. It's done.

So, I guess you know that it's wise to always do the opposite of what I suggest. Still, that's what I'd do. Nothing.

Anonymous said...

If it had been me that you were honking at and I realized it was you; I would have called your ass up on your cell phone and said, "Woa, LeLo, pull over so I can give you a valium." I would have laughed, but I'm that way...

Good point by Karen,

Syd's right too.

I'm so wishywashy.