Thursday, October 23, 2008
I couldn’t sleep last night. It was 2:33 AM. Tossing in my bed, I knew this feeling. I used to wake up at times like this and not be able to sleep. Constantly. But it had been 2 years since my nights were filled with sleeplessness, and my stress levels were now lower. It was odd. I hovered at the edge of sleep, couldn’t get comfortable. Too hot, too cold. This went on for an hour or two.
Sleeping in that morning I was out cold. When I finally did awake, I felt odd. Out of sorts. The sleeplessness bothered me because it was a rarity now, of something that used to be familiar. Why had it returned? Why was it bothering me?
The news of the fire came mid day. Another fire in another old house at another neighbor. This one, just two blocks away. Just one street over from ours. A woman died, a woman was critically injured. The firefighters arrived to hear sobbing. The body of one was found near the door. Tragedy. Absolute tragedy.
I looked at the time of the fire. It was my sleeplessness. I hadn’t heard the sirens, or engines or voices, that I could remember. Which surprises me. Maybe I had smelled the smoke. But whatever happened two blocks away, shook me inside. And I’m troubled by that. I’m troubled by their struggle to get out of their burning house, and the fighting of it so hard that shook me inside to wake up.
It feels like a precious time. An odd time. A time to listen to yourself and to your insides. To trust yourself. To help others. To be kind.
And it’s time to check your smoke detectors.