Thursday, October 23, 2008

Listening to it all

awakened
I couldn’t sleep last night. It was 2:33 AM. Tossing in my bed, I knew this feeling. I used to wake up at times like this and not be able to sleep. Constantly. But it had been 2 years since my nights were filled with sleeplessness, and my stress levels were now lower. It was odd. I hovered at the edge of sleep, couldn’t get comfortable. Too hot, too cold. This went on for an hour or two.

Sleeping in that morning I was out cold. When I finally did awake, I felt odd. Out of sorts. The sleeplessness bothered me because it was a rarity now, of something that used to be familiar. Why had it returned? Why was it bothering me?

The news of the fire came mid day. Another fire in another old house at another neighbor. This one, just two blocks away. Just one street over from ours. A woman died, a woman was critically injured. The firefighters arrived to hear sobbing. The body of one was found near the door. Tragedy. Absolute tragedy.

I looked at the time of the fire. It was my sleeplessness. I hadn’t heard the sirens, or engines or voices, that I could remember. Which surprises me. Maybe I had smelled the smoke. But whatever happened two blocks away, shook me inside. And I’m troubled by that. I’m troubled by their struggle to get out of their burning house, and the fighting of it so hard that shook me inside to wake up.

It feels like a precious time. An odd time. A time to listen to yourself and to your insides. To trust yourself. To help others. To be kind.

And it’s time to check your smoke detectors.

8 comments:

Sally Dadmun Bixby said...

This is haunting, well written and has an important message. We always think it won't happen to us...

Heather said...

What a thought-provoking post. You know, the fire department always reminds us to check our smoke detectors at the daylight savings time change and I never have. I will now.

Mossie said...

chills. Thank you.

Charlotte in Pa said...

This really hit home with me. The night before 9/11, I had a horrific nightmare about a plane crash. There was a huge fire and people were screaming their names out and begging for me to help them. As I was going for help, another plane crashed. Turning the t.v. on that next day and watching the events unfold totally freaked me out. I ended up in therapy because of it. I think that our minds and spirits are more knowing than we give them credit for.

Known Alias: Ingrid Tuesday said...

I read about this in the news. So sad!
Excuse me while I go change the batteries...

Fleur de Lisa said...

The fire and your restless sleeplessness-- it's odd and interesting how our minds sense things when we truly take the time to listen.

The image is beautiful yet haunting and truly fitting for this post.

A Lewis said...

I read a while back that we should actually EMBRACE our sleeplessness. Realize that something has us awake for a reason...look for it. And this is excellent evidence of that premise!

Rozanne said...

So tragic.

I think Charlotte is right that we do sense stuff on a subconscious level but we have been conditioned to ignore that.

Just checked our smoke alarm, causing Rusty to flee. It's working!